S I R,
HAVING observed in your paper a few days ago a poetical attempt to be witty at the expence[sic] of Dr. L— and Dr. M—, I imagine the following facts must entertain many of your readers.
I had just perused the observations preparatory to the use of Dr. M—'s medicines, when my curiousity was excited to see this same water doctor, and for this purpose a phial of a gentleman's water was procured for me, to which was added a small proportion of the sediment from Thames water, in order to give it a more sickly appearance.
With this phial I waited upon Dr. M— on the first of this month, who shrugged up his shoulders, and seemed mightily concerned at the appearance of the contents of the phial, saying, "he saw by the water that there was a disorder in the womb." I then replied that I had a pain in my stomach; to which he rejoined, "that the womb was actually ruptured, which he perceived by the water;" he added, "that he thought my case very desperate, but he hoped (with God's leave) he could prescribe me something that would do me good."
The prescription which Dr. M— wrote for me, to cure "this rupture of the womb," contained these words, Pulv. contra acredin. which by looking into Dr. L—'s pamphlet, I find to be principally burnt oyster shells powdered; but as I do not understand physic, I should be obliged to any of your correspondents to inform me, whether, supposing I had "this disorder in the womb," any benefit could result from burnt oyster shells?
Besides the diversion which Dr. M—'s sagacity afforded me, I was much entertained at his door by Mr. S—, his porter, who continued all the time I staid[sic] at the doctor's in one strain of abuse against Dr. L—, for discovering his master's tricks. An acquaintance of mine (Molly Shepherd of Walworth) accompanied me in my attendance upon the Doctor, who will confirm every tittle I have described: "the oyster shell prescription" may be seen, if required, by applying to
Your humble servant,
ELIZ. SMART.
Fish-street-hill, Oct. 3, 1776.
Source: British Library Newspaper Collection Colindale - Burney Collection; 7 October 1776 (2303) Page 4 Columns 2 and 3